—are terrible. The solution? Hollywood should get back to the source material and make these heroes more Jewish.
Pity the comic-book fan who, with plucky optimism, skips to the movie theater to see one of this summer's superhero flicks, only to leave two-and-a-half hours later with a CGI-induced hangover.
Green Lantern was a travesty—you could feel the producers looming just off-camera, pleading with whatever fallen deities they pray to that this overdone stew of a movie would earn enough money to enable a franchise.
Thor had moments of levity, and its star, Chris Hemsworth, appears to know his way around a Shake Weight, but the title character and his brother Loki seemed more like cosseted brats than Norse immortals locked in fratricidal conflict.
Captain America, which will be released this Friday, is directed by Joe Johnston, a man who would probably rather forget the aughts (when he brought us
Jurassic Park III, Hidalgo, and
The Wolfman), and stars an actor, Chris Evans, whose best performance—by far—was a 10-minute cameo as an imbecilic action star in
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Need we even bother?
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